Ask Internet Icon Alex Chiu

Many people have scorned and laughed at Thomas A. Edison, Albert Einstein, and Nikola Tesla, it says on Alex Chiu's famous Web site, where Alex explains the mysteries of the universe, tells us how we can make the future better, and offers immortality (for a very reasonable price) through his patented immortality devices. Alex has enough of a following among Slashdot readers (and editors) that when I posted a two-line comment saying I'd ask him to do a Slashdot interview if I got 10 requests by email, I got lots more than that. So here we go! One question per post, please. We'll forward 10 of the highest-moderated questions to Alex on Monday, and post his answers as soon as we get them back.

hey, alex chiu

hey, alex chiu,

you cite edison, tesla and einstein as people who were "laughed and scorned at," presumably as parallel figures to yourself, but we can't help noticing that you're sort of missing something. edison, tesla and einstein were great scientists who, through a thorough and accurate understanding of the best scientific learning of their day, applied existing principles in groundbreaking and unexpected ways to advance contemporary physics. you, however, are applying your ignorance and lack of understanding of high-school level science - skimming through textbooks, parrot-learning words like "unique frequency," "magnetic flux" and "negative charge" - and producing your own bastardized version of contemporary science via the tried and tested method of 'just making shit up.'

you seem to be mesmerised, rabbit-in-headlamps style, by the magical idea of magnetism. apparently you're an intelligent enough guy, but please for your own magnetic god's sake educate yourself on the basic concepts of science, starting with the other three fundamental forces (or is it two? unification is so awkward!). cells don't cluster together because of magnetism. animals don't run from danger because they are "repelled by the negative energy." hey, maybe some form of teleportation will be possible in the future, but chances are it won't be courtesy of the fantastically well-thought-out "transmitting the unique frequency of an object." a quick vote amongst ourselves decided that gravity isn't caused by static electricity when the earth's core rubs against the crust, and as a race we're fairly certain that the sun isn't hot because of friction between its "layers". while you appear to be sure that you're pioneering, pushing the edge of science and coming up with fascinating and groundbreaking new ideas, it might be prudent to base your fantastic new theories on intelligent observation and existing science (as edison, tesla and einstein all did), rather than just gazing into space and pulling things out of your eternally-young ass. so the sun produces heat via some kind of "rubbing" process rather than nuclear fusion, mm? do you have some empirical evidence for this astounding revelation - which would be required to counteract the huge body of proof and data accumulated over the years for what we'll call the 'Enemy Theory' - or are you (all together now) just making shit up?

how a ufo works? hey, man, slow down! why not read up on how a gyroscope works? why don't you make one and try it out for yourself? it doesn't "defy gravity," it's not magic or magnetic or anything else even approaching alliterative mysticism. no, seriously. trust us on this one. it precesses, resisting any force that tries to tilt its axis of rotation. this is simple - honestly! we'll use italics! - simple newtonian physics; a gyroscope only "defies gravity" when it has something against which to exert a force. an unsupported spinning object will just drop like a stone unless it has astounding aerodynamic properties (which isn't what you're talking about) - try it for yourself! um, with a plate, or something! unless you've got some kind of inbred aversion to deduction by empirical observation!

we could go through your site and identify countless other examples; you're not being groundbreaking, you're not an eccentric genius of science who's thinking in new ways that nobody else would even consider. you're just blinkered and wrong and obsessed with making huge sweeping deductions from your own misguided half-cooked internal reasoning processes. which is a pity, because your conviction and dedication to your ideas is admirable. it just makes us sad - and moderately angry - to see an entire site dedicated essentially to stupidity; advocating and glorifying the practice of ignoring intelligent deduction and observation, promoting ignorance, and shamelessly condoning the attitude that if you can blindly concoct enough unfounded shit in your head, independently of any evidence or informed reasoning, it'll become true if you close your eyes and say you believe in fairies.

feel free to respond - whenever the mood of your flux allows.

Don't you fear for your safety?

A discovery as important as yours will not go unnoticed, especially as you publicize it as far and wide as you have in seeking to earn your capitalist profit as is your god-given American right (rooted in the 5th, 14th, and 10th amendments of THE CONSTITUTION). The only question is, who (or should I say "Who"?) will do the noticing?

Government agencies and secret police forces are your first threat, as they are for every righteous individual in this orwellian world of thought police and governmental indoctrination. No government can turn a blind eye to something as fundamentally anti-government as an immortality device. It may be too late for them to make Stalin or Roosevelt (there is no difference) immortal, since they died during the era where man did not interfere with GOD'S wish that we live and then DIE. But it is not too late for CLINTON or BLAIR or any other Liberal deity, and they certainly don't want you to have it in any event.

But the threats to your safety aren't confined to this planet alone. The alien races that populate our solar system and beyond may possess technology superior in every way to our own, but they have not yet perfected immortality. (I know this only through Divine providence and what I have witnessed with my own eyes: an elaborate Alien burial ceremony deep within the UN complex on sovereign American territory.) Your device would be of great help to their intergalactic conquests, and though they may respect you as a man of science, you are but one small pawn on a small blue planet in an undusted corner of their empire.

Be forewarned, cher Alex. Your continued safety is of the utmost importance to the survival of free Americans and the human race (excluding communists). Lead us to the promised land, but tread carefully. They are watching.

Do fundamentalists impede on your work?

Perhaps your only rival on the internet is Gene Ray, the man who discovered Nature's Harmonic Simultaneous 4-day Time Cube [timecube.com].

Despite the fact that his work contradicts much of your research, he also faces similar obstacles in having his work accepted or at least evaluated. No "institution" of higher education will even return his calls. I spoke to him via phone recently, and Mr. Ray believes that this is because they're run by fundamentalists engaged in some kind of conspiracy to keep the truth away from the public. He was understandably very frustrated by this.

I can't help but to wonder if other scientists face the same problems. Can you offer a correlating viewpoint? In your efforts to have your work accepted, or at least taken seriously, do you find that fundementalists are a large obstacle? If so, do you believe that this is out of their own ignorance, or that maybe they do in fact have a sinister motive as Mr. Ray suggests?

Thank you for your time.

magnets have been used like this before...

magnets have been around in this manner for many years - new age style people, etc. have been encouraging the use of magnets on the feet and hands for as long as I can remember. why is your way better, why didn't theirs work, and what proof and facts do you have? your website was not very forthcoming on that last issue, though you claimed to have both.
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All that glitters has a high refractive index.

How can we tell pseudo from real science?

Alex,
the web is full of interesting sites on the fringes of science. Some may well be true, and some not. How can we tell which are written by people who also think they are Napoleon and which are written by true Edisons? Now how do these criteria apply to your material?

Baz

If fingers are "transistors", what about amputees?

You state here that "What I believe is that the small finger or the toes are the transistor of the entire body. [...] You use a little bit of energy to turn on a larger amount of energy!!"

My father-in-law lost the fingers of his left hand in a construction accident. Is there any hope for him? What about a quadruple-amputee?

If these "transistors" are lost, what kind of effect does this have on the body?

90 days?

Alex, your web page states:

"If you are not satisfied with the products, you have 90 days to refund them"

How am I supposed to know within 90 days if the immortality ring works?

(read: SCAM)

in addition to his obvious ignorance I would remind slashdotters that neither Einstein, not Tesla, nor any other great minds of the past seeked glory and recognition. They did it for the sake of the people, or at least just for the heck of it (read: science) but never seeked a reward. He does.

His purposes and attitudes seem noble, at least donating money to a charity seems like a good idea. But then, again, if he does that clearly for-profit, FDA will stop that right there. In fact, he is expecting that [alexchiu.com] any moment. Yes, I know, it might not be hurting anyone physically, but it is a scam anyway and that is something that the we have to deal with.

As far as his ignorance... oh, this is truly bad. Here [alexchiu.com] he compares the way our body works to a transistor (resembles a recent movie, except there we were duracell batteries, right?). I do not know anything about how a body works, but it is apparent that he has no clue about how transistors work, that's for sure. He also seems to be missing the point that the energy can't be drawn (and amplified) out of the thin air. Tesla himself probably would have turned over in his grave if he heard something like that.

I would not even touch his perception of God ("God is the mathematical formula which runs our universe"). errr... hideous herecy, along with toddler level of comprehension put into scientific words!

!!!Last, but not least, every one of us has seen spammers and MLM promoters, right? Right. What do they use? Pop-ups that advertize you to buy a product - he's got it! Paid ads - he's got it! TESTIMONIALS OF SOMEBODY'S GREAT EXPERIENCE AND MIRACULOUS CURE IN CAPITAL LETTERS? - he's got that too! popups that open up when onUnload() happens? - He's got that as well. It doesn't take too much time to see that he is making money just off this website, just running it and getting money off advertizers with very nicely disguised ads (just look at the source code of his pages). And now, sice he is getting slashdotted, he is getting even more, we are helping him quite a bit.

Now, since I established that this is a rather typical scam, and this guy exhibits remarkable ignorance, and takes pride in it, makes money in the very detestable ways that slashdotters hate, and shamelessly considers and announces himself the next best thing in the Universe (or at the very least the next Einstein)... since all this is true... why in the world would Roblimo even think about interviewing the guy. Yes, it might be entertaining to see the gross stupidity and laugh at it, but did we really degrade far enough to interview a guy just to laugh at stupidity? I think this is something for those scandalous magazines that you can buy at any grocery store, not for slashdot!

Over and out. Very mad too.

Vlad
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WTF?!?

Can't y'all find someone better to interview? The only insightful thing this guy could share with us is how he managed to rip off the patent system. And we already know how that works.

Have y'all been h4x0r3d again?


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Stephen C. VanDahm

Free samples

Have you given free samples to people who you think ought to live forever, and if so, who are those people?

I have beaten your device!

Alex: I have a superior device. My device allows a person to live forever -- twice. (It is made of stronger magnets.) How can I collect my prize?

If You Can Keep A Human Living Forever...

...how come your website can't survive the /. effect for 15 minutes?

Where's the 5-year-old mouse?

One nice thing about claiming immortality is that it takes a lifetime for anyone to prove you wrong. But legitimate scientists in life extension research have a simple alternative: mice, which only live about 2 years, have very similar metabolisms to humans and other mammals. Honest, repeatable experiments with life extension techniques like calorie restriction can routinely produce mice that live 3-4 years. So surely any immortality device can easily produce a 5-year-old mouse. So where is it? And if you can't produce one, why should anyone take you seriously?

Is this serious?

If this is not serious, it is just mean.

If the Slashdot readers and editors think this guy is serious, then I wonder about them.

If they think he is delusional, then asking him questions hoping to get funny asnwers is mean.

And if he is a fraud, then interviewing him is not the way to expose him.

Re:Question One

This has got to be an all-time low for the site.

(If we're interviewing nutbars, I would rather see an interview with the Timecube.com guy.)

Immortality Rings

Have you ever ruined any disks (floppy, hard disks, etc) or other media (VHS tape, etc) with your immortality rings? Have anyone ever told you that they did? Do you have insurance against lawsuits?

Immortal Antichrist?

Alex Chiu, you're obviously very interested in religion, especially things that are written in the Bible or Torah (from your site: http://alexchiu.com/philosophy/beastsign.htm [alexchiu.com]). In fact, on that page, you claim that people who do not believe in the Bible are "Antichrists".

So let me ask you this: are you comfortable selling me some of your rings and giving me, an Antichrist, immortality? How does your God feel about helping me, an Antichrist, live forever? Or will your rings not work on an Antichrist? (I didn't see that exception in your claims.)

Immortality

From the 'philosophy' pages of your site I quote 'You don't need to have children anymore because you stay young forever'. Do you not feel that there is a bit more to living than simply eating and breathing? Your pages imply that once we've cracked health and farming we're sorted from there on in. Don't we need some sort of goal or ambition? Isn't a common goal to procreate? Do we spend the rest of eternity wearing rings and writing Perl?

The cost of immortality

Alex, if your device were ever to prove true in the eyes of the medical profession, do you feel that a patent is suffient defense against some corporation (or perhaps government) taking control and only allowing their view of the 'right people' to have one? Could your device spark a forth reich, a new 'master race', immortals versus mortals?

Immortality

Assuming I were to live forever, why should I want to? As many tales have been written, one grows weary of seeing friends come and go and children age and die. It's a heavy burden, what's there to counter balance this need for immortality, other than simple fear of death?

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All your .sig are belong to us!

Testing of your immortality devices

Alex,

Have you ever tested your immortality devices in terminally ill patients in a double blinded placebo controlled study. For example, have you recruited a cohort of cancer patients, applied a randomization technique whereby one group gets your device(s) and the other receives similar, yet inactive rings and braclets? Certainly, if your products provide immortality then none of the subjects in the active group would die. With that amount of statistical power, it would be simple and relatively cheap to demonstrate your claims.

Regards,
W.P.

Questions.

Well I went to order [alexchiu.com] one of these things, and was met at the top with the cheerful request to agree:

Yes, I would like to try the Eternal Life Device(s). I understand that the inventor, Alex Chiu, guarantees me that if I am not satisfied with the Eternal Life Device for any reason, I am allowed to get a full refund within 90 days.[boldness added]

Now given that the only reason I can imagine for someone not being satisfied with their package of Eternal Life is if it doesn't work (ie. they still die), your guarantee beckons the questions:

1. Would I be correct in assuming that you allow third-parties (spouses/families) to ask for a refund within 90 days of the deceased person's order?
2. And if you do, what percent of your orders result in a refund within 90 days for the specific reason of death? (ie. not including other "not satisfied for any reason" s).
3. Does this figure include refunds for causes of death unrelated to mortality?

Your answers and statistics are appreciated.
~

Question

Alex,

If you were to end up dying someday, who should I contact for a refund on my eternal life device?

Thanks in advance,
American AC in Paris

Been waiting to as

First of all this guy is for memepool, not for slashdot. I read most of his site, and in my opinion he is insane. However I do have an interesting question to ask him.

Do you seriously believe that your immortality stuff works? If you do, then you are insane. However if you don't, I think you might actually be a pretty smart guy. You are doing what every evangelist and salesperson does. You are taking advantage of really stupid people by lying and selling stuff.

What I'm basically asking is this.
A) Do you believe that this stuff works or are you just a clever salesman?
B) If you believe this stuff works, what do you say to all the (intelligent) people who think you are insane?
C) If you believe this stuff works, what are you smoking, and can I have some? I don't do drugs, but, hell I'm immortal so I can do whatever drugs I want!

Okay Alex, here's one...

I think that a lot of the people who visit your page think that you are a bit of a loony and a lot of a profiteer. While I like the fact that you offer 'free' rings in exchange for a donation to certain charities, I can't help but feel that you are probably not using the best of peer-reviewed science to back up your ideas.

Despite this, I bet you feel that what you're doing is pretty important.

Tell us then, Why do you think no medical experts come forth to do studies on your devices or reccomend their use?

For some this will be a vindication of your ideas. For others it will be a glimpse into one of the minds that makes the web as truly a strange and wonderful place that it is.

Slashdot hacked again?

Between the main page, the meta keywords (starwars, star, trek, antichrist) and pop-up spam pages on that site, I thought Slashdot had been hacked again and someone had posted a fake story! That's what happened, right?

=-=-=-=-=

Prove it...

Alex, you say that this invention of eternal life that you have developed and/or promote is true, and comparable to Einstein, Tesla, and other 'great scientific minds.' Exactly how can you prove that? The only way would be to show that a person could live infinitely, and since there is no end to infinity, you would never be able to end your expirement and provide conclusions in true scientific form. If you have a better explanation, please feel free to share.

Pseudo-Science

Bah...more pseudo science. The placebo effect can do many things, but it can't stop aging and cell decay. I can't wait till the guy dies, wrapped with magnets and doohickys, complaining bitteryly that he's immortal.

how long?

Alex,

How long have you been making these amazing devices? If fewer than 130 years, please describe how you *really* know they work? If >= 130 years, please prove you aren't one of those bouncing Chinese vampires by eating 5 "bundles" of sticky rice and posting the video on your website. Thank you.

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Are You Racist?

On your site you state [alexchiu.com]: "I am not a Taiwanese. I am Chinese, and I wish China will one day take Taiwan back, peacefully or by force, at any cost! A Taiwanese who does not consider himself to be Chinese does not deserve to become immortal."

Do you wish for Taiwanese citizens to be exterminated? How do you explain your views if 1) you were born in the U.S. and not China (are you not an American?), and 2) China repeatedly abuses and tortures its citizenry, including Chinese forced abortions of Tibetan women [google.com]? Wouldn't Chinese deserve not to become immortal?